Til Death Do Us Part: Part 2
by ndfrk411
Summary: I must say, Tea could never have this much fun in Japan! And you must have played Final Fantasy 7 to understand the "Emerald" part. Enjoy!


'Til Death Do us Part (Part II)

(Yugi is sitting by the fire in a Guam village.  He is drinking some herbal tea.)

Yugi: When can I smoke the peace pipe?

Chief of Tribe (A.K.A. Bon Bon) Youth.  You must not heed the vapors of the pipe.  It is forbidden.

Yugi: Just once!  You let that 2-year-old over there smoke it!

Bon Bon: There's difference between entertainment and child endangerment.

Yugi: ?

Bon Bon: It's time for the sun to rest. Please retire to your bunk.

(Yugi goes to his hut.)  

Yugi: Why did I do this?  I mean, Ishizu could have been useful.  I could have been a pimp and sold her…

Bubba: Don't ask me.  Only chief knows.  He knows everything.

Yugi: Even the chief can't find my happiness.

Bubba: La llave a la felicidad es un buen humo y un barrilete de cerveza. (The key to happiness is a good smoke and a keg of beer.)

Yugi: I agree.  I mean, wine isn't that good as Pegasus says.

Bubba: Who he?

Yugi: He's an old man who kidnaps little kids.

Bubba: What's so bad about that?  In the tribe, we do that weekly!

Yugi: That's really nasty.

Bubba: Hey!  We let them smoke peace pipe.

Yugi: I'm going back.  To my home.  It's where I belong.

Bubba: Stop right there! 

(Yugi turns around.)

Yugi: Huh?

("Bubba" takes off his costume revealing Pegasus.)

Pegasus: You are really gullible, Yugi boy!

Yugi: I thought that she devil Mai killed you!

Pegasus: That dumb broad couldn't kill me with a gun and a baseball bat.  He put milk in my Strawberry Daquiri.  I'm lactose and tolerent!

Yugi: Milk in a Strawberry Daquiri?

Pegasus: I usually drink wine but that hoe refused to get the expensive brand and got wine in a box instead.

Yugi: How horrid! (Faking his emotions)

Pegasus: But enough about me… time to kick the butt I deserve to kick!

(Bon Bon walks in. He gasps.)

Bon Bon: Pegasus!  I can't believe you've cheated on me with another man!

Pegasus: I'm not dating him! You're my only bon bon!

Yugi: Gross!  I'm outta here!

(Yugi leaves and returns to his house.  We go to Joey)

Joey: Ladies and Gentlemen, I am proud to present, the Joey's Center for Alcoholics!  Here you can drink margaritas 'til you drop, swim in wine coolers, and bathe in vodka!  

(His center is thriving until Tea comes in)

Tea: Joey!  

Joey: Tea!

Tea: Joey!  

Joey: Tea! 

Tea: Joey!  

Joey: Tea! 

Tea: Joey!  

Joey: Tea! 

Tea: Stop saying my name!

Joey: Why are you here?

Tea: Oh!  I'm going to be a member of your nice center here!

Joey: I didn't know you were an alcoholic!

Tea: Yeap!  I became one two weeks ago!  IT'S SO COOL!

Joey: I'm so proud of you!  Well, since you are my great friend, you can have one of my premier suites!

Tea: Thanks buddy! 

(He hands her the keys and she goes up)

Tea: What a beautiful room!  A nice alcohol-filled waterbed, couches made of beer cans, even Vodka-flavored mouthwash!  This is sweet!

(Then she shoots the waterbed and the several black bottles on the wet bar.  Drano flows out of the bed.) 

Tea: I knew it!

(Then Tea does downstairs to show Joey her "little friend")

Joey: Is there anything wrong, Tea? 

Tea: Yeah! There's a fly on your head. (She shoots him.  Nothing happened.)

Joey: Are you a bad shot or am I EMERALD WEAPON?!?

(Then Joey transforms to Emerald Weapon.)

Tea: HA!  For one, that's a goofy video game boss wannabe.  Two I have a the weapon to defeat you.

Joey: NO ONE CAN DEFEAT ME!  

Tea: Fine then.  I have your destruction right here!  

(She pulls our jewelry cleaner)

Joey: OH NO!

(Tea throws the cleaner on him.  Nothing happends.)

Joey: YOU MORON!  NEVER USE GENERIC BRANDS ON ME! THEY NEVER WORK!

Tea: Oh yeah?

(Then the sun shines through the windows.  It shines in Joey's eyes and he explodes.  Tea takes his remains (emeralds, duh) and runs)

(Then we go to Mai.  In jail.)

Mai: Do I have to eat this food?  It sucks!

Chef: It is my most favorite dish!

Mai: You call Spam and some ketchup on top a dish?  I call it Barf Soufflé!

Chef: Would you rather have stewed prunes?

Mai: Okay never mind. (She keeps playing with her food.  Then she comes up with an idea.  She sticks her pea soup in her mouth.  Then she turns her head around and spits it out.)

Everyone: EXORCIST!  (They run wild out of the prison.)

Mai: Why am I so smart?  This reminds me of the time I took my college ACT test and failed!  Uh, wait a minute…

(She runs out and goes to a department store)

Mai: Ooo!  This perfume smells so delightful! (She spritzes little on to test it.)

Serenity: I'm so glad I can see now!  This is great!

(She walks up to Mai and Mai accidentally sprays her in the face)

Serenity: Oh crap!  I can't see!  I can't see!

Mai: I'm so sorry!  

Serenity: That's the fifth time, you clumsy bitch!  

Mai: Well if you didn't bump into me so often maybe this wouldn't of happened.

Serenity: Oh shut up!

Mai: Let's see you make me!  You can't even see, you blind moron!

Serenity: Oh really?  (She pulls out a gun and shoots Mai in the foot.)

Mai: I just got a pedicure, you bitch!

Serenity: I guess reading Daredevil comic books paid off!  See ya!

(She walks away)

Mai: I show you, you little hooker!  
(She throws a bottle of Elisabeth Taylor's Diamonds perfume at her.  Serenity catches it.)

Serenity: You give blondes a really bad name trying to harm the blind.  But here, this is yours!

(She catches the bottle on fire and throws it back, blowing the store up.  Serenity walks out)

Serenity: J'aime des feux.

(Then we see Yugi heading towards the store)

Yugi: What happened?

Serenity: The fire breather from out of town farted.

Yugi: Wow!  I wish I could do that!


End file.
